Have you ever...oshihen'ed? Why?

First of all, let me warn you this is a huge post, and a personal experience, feel free to add yours and your opinions, with all respect please.
------

Spoiler

I am very much aware that changing your oshi is often seen as something bad and as an act of betrayal from most of the fans. And somehow, I agree with them: many of us started supported a particular girl because we can relate or we want to see someone succeed, because we see potential there, even if the rest of the world may not agree with us. No matter what motivation is it, but once we choose an oshi, we are expected to stay as long as she's there (with some of the fans even leaving the fandom once she graduates).

But, what if said girl, the one who brougth you many moments of happiness and excitement is also associated with sad events of your life? Or that she somehow reminds you to someone who hurt you for a long time? Well, that's my case right now.

I've liked other girls prior settling down with a kami oshi for so long: the first member I liked was Shinoda Mariko, and since always I've been fond of Kojima Haruna (we can say she was my kami even before I knew the concept –let’s call it ‘favorite’, as I wasn’t too invested in the group yet, and until her graduation has been always part of my Top 5 members), then with Sato Amina (from 2010 until the 2012 shuffle).

After that, I finally found my kami in Muto Tomu. This was after I understood the concept of having a kamioshi, so she was the one I supported the most.

I've been supporting Tomu since late 2012, with her looks catching my attention since 3つの涙 but to starting to get invested in her after her surprising ranking back them as center of the Future Girls (SHOW FIGHT! is still one of my favorite b-sides from 48G). I loved her fierceness in that song, and loved much more how awkward she was during lives, it was a relatable clumsiness and with many people not caring about her or even disliking her (for being 'mean' with Tano, which is a dumb reason if you ask me), I wanted to support her. Plus, she was Sasshi’s under back when she was in AKB, so she had a connection with my favorite Team at the time.

I heard once that your oshi chooses you, and still to this day, I believe so: there was something that kept drawing me to Tomu and to root for her, even if she was a terrible dancer, a weak singer, bad at MC and well...generally lacking everything to shine as a conventional idol.

But she had determination and constantly pushed herself to do her best, and I could see that every LOD I was able to watch.

Yet, last year, despite Tomu’s progress and her amazing growth, blossoming from awkward and shy to someone who can stand in the center when required, more confident in herself and always ready to give her 200% in every challenge, it was difficult to not associate her with someone who I hurt, and hurt me back badly. It’s a personal and uncomfortable story, but thing is that due to those memories, I cannot bring myself to stay as passionate with Tomu, no matter how much I still care about her and how much I still following her in everything she does.

But now, my happiness is more linked to...Kato Rena.

Renacchi always caught my attention for her looks (even with that weird antenna hairstyle she had when younger), but she has to be one of the prettiest members since debuting, but I’ve never been a follower of the ‘New Generation’ from back them, being mostly a Team A oshi, my interest was almost non-existent.

Recalling back 2012, she kept catching my attention, especially with the growing closeness with Umechan but still, not following her much. I liked her live vocals in ballads, how photogenic she was and how straightforward were her comments, but like many, was kind of turned off by her ‘lazy dancing’.

Years kept passing, and asides the usual ‘Oh, Renacchi is pretty’ or ‘She finally dropped the weird hairstyle!’ there was not a particular connection with her. But that changed in 2015.

After watching ‘Bokutachi wa Tatakawanai’, where she was one of the front members from promotions, she surprisingly pulled off that fierceness in the videoclip and choreography. The ‘Princess’ proved she could rock something different to her usual image, and it was awesome. That same year, the brilliant ‘Renacchi Sousenkyou’ caught more my attention, with her selection of members and the concept…it gave her more depth to me, and made me wonder what others good ideas she may have inside her head.

I’ve been interested in idols for 10 years already, and for me an idol is someone who helps to brighten up your day with their smile, their presence, their quirks and their path. It’s someone who helps to motivate us to not give up, even if we feel beyond sad and worthless. And the past months, I’ve found that peace and joy with Renacchi the most.

No, I won’t stop supporting Tomu. It’s been years of always rooting for her despite management’s not paying proportional attention to her growth, but I really want to repay Kato Rena the motivation she currently gives me. To find the courage to become a better version of myself.

------

I don’t know if it was okay to post this, or if is going to receive backlash, but I needed to vent and I’m aware fandom is kind of cruel if you oshihen, but like I said, it doesn’t mean I stopped liking Tomu in any sense. I just want to support the one who makes me the happiest and motivated now, and who isn’t tied with sad memories to me.

 

I kinda oshihened after being a Furuyanagi oshi since their debut back in 2009 and at the time of her graduation announcement, I was heavily an Airin oshi. Her graduation happened and it seemed to affect me a lot because of every conversation we had during handshake events and stuff like that. Churi was my only other option of an oshi until I found girls like Nao, Egochan, Rion and other graduates like Rena, Miyamae, Tsuuchan, ect... but yeah graduations happen.

Mind you, I still follow Ami, Rena, Tsugumi and Airin. But within the group, yeah...

Oshihening is something everyone experiences, whether through old or new gens, members graduate and you can follow what they're doing through their social media outlets, if they have any. And from personal experience, oshihening gave me a chance to look at certain members and see what they're strengths and weakness (if any) are. Once I saw Nao, I thought she'd be one of those girls who excelled at everything, if not most things and I was right. Nao was very talented, and I found the same in Rion. (Still sad she's graduating though... Now I need to find a new S and 6th gen oshi cuz all three of the S members I liked are going. Mikitti and Yumechi too.) And for me it's the same with the older generations. Whether you like the original members or the newer ones, oshihening for me gives you an experience to see other members you might not have before if you hadn't made the decision to oshihen.

 

I've havent had an Oshimen since 2013. So, never had to Oshihen.


<------- Playa 4 Lyfe.

 

Never had to cuz I'm more like Oshi-add to my list XD

But I had a real tough time at a period where I had to debate myself to oshi Mako or Juri.

Juri first caught my eye but at the end Mako caught my heart.

Edit: lol bro after reading your long confession, you must be struggling real hard in life to have that oshihen decision

 

The user @gocchisama has already done a well made post into this. (But i don't remember where )

 

my Kami-oshi already graduate
if i choose another member to became my next Kami-oshi, which mean i Oshihen??

 

My topic on oshihen is right here Oshihening

 

Yep, that's exactly what I think about idols and that's why, in my opinion, you don't have to worry or feel sad for changing a bit your preferences.
People change and it's pretty normal to change your preferences when it comes to idols. In your case i think it's more like adding a new oshi because you are still supporting Tomu.
We are here to enjoy so...make sure you enjoy renacchi a lot! Nothing more to say

 

I think it's fine to oshihen and you shouldn't feel too bad about it. I can understand that having an oshi is very serious in Japan because fans actually go to meet those girls, the girls know them, they create a bond, they often spend more money on supporting her too, so it can be taken seriously if a fan oshihen. but, most international fans (like me, and maybe you) are only fans through internet. and I think our definition of an oshi is different. it's just someone who we can relate, that we want to help/support, that we find pretty/cute/fun/talented (or any other reason), that make you cheer up, etc. and even though some of us also spend money but I think not as much (overall), I don't think it's as serious as in Japan and I don't think we should be too harsh on it. I think it's fine to oshihen.

I personally never oshihen, my first kami-oshi was Acchan, and I stay as her fan until her graduation. I liked other girls too (Yukirin, Mayuyu, Yuko, Tomochin, and more) but it was Acchan #1 (and still is, LOL). After her grad, I found a new oshi (Paruru) and then other girls that I want to support too (Naanya, Ricchan etc.). I never really oshihen, like mostly supporting someone, then switching to mostly supporting someone else. It didn't happen to me, but I think it's ok if this happens, it's good to honestly admit it. if Renacchi makes you feel better and you want to support her more, it's great. Btw I love Renacchi as well ^-^/