1. Check the 2023 Stage48 Member Ranking Results, how did your Oshimen rank this year?

Love ~ I am in, or when was the last time I've been in ...

Discussion in 'The STAGE48 Lobby' started by qilver, Aug 6, 2007.

  1. Datalanche

    Datalanche Kenkyuusei

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2007
    Looked like we were just discussing it to me, but okay. That was my last statement on the matter anyway. It's clear what everyone's stance on it is by now.
     
  2. qilver

    qilver Kenkyuusei

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2007
    Location:
    Reinyan's kitchen
    i had no problem with the discussion itself, afterall that is what we are here for, posting, discussion and sharing but it was only when i read eques last post, i felt this could get out of line, and how you reacted to it, i feel that there is nothing wrong with discussion of "age" topic, only.

    i read it again, and at the surface it is harmless and not a direct offense at anything, but the underlying thing here is not to initate, provoke such discussions in defense of an argument via "sarcasm", which i find unacceptable in my thread. I wish we can refrain from such comments that provoke such reactions, this is my thread, and let's keep it free, Thank you. I know there will be some responses, so you now have my take on this whole thing.
     
  3. nikitty104

    nikitty104 Kenkyuusei

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2008
    Location:
    Atlanta
    i can't help but feel partially responsilbe, and with that said i'll try to think more thoroughly about what my posts could lead to before i hit "submit".

    on another note!
    i have no updates for my relationship status..
    how are things with you, qil?
     
  4. qilver

    qilver Kenkyuusei

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2007
    Location:
    Reinyan's kitchen
    ah, nice to hear back from you...
    thanks for your contributions to this thread, no worries you were not the instigator, daijoubu desu yo!!

    well, not much...

    i decided to text her, a "hello, what's up?" and nothing....so its not a very good sign.
    we were supposively going to meet up later this month when her schedule frees up, but i am having great doubts about that. I am not even sure if i want to meet up with her again, i am not sure how i feel about this girl anymore. I think the attraction dissapated somewhat this week, as i picked up on some subtleties, and indirect overtones by some of her actions. Maybe i am overanalyzing, but i can have a strong feeling her lack of action is dues to in part of her schedule and also a dissinterest on her part. I can accept the truth, and if she is not interested in me, i am fine with the result. I have no problem moving on continuing my pursuit with other women. My point here is to atleast get a strong idea or inclination on where things are headed, even if i don't get a direct answer from her, i would have no problem cancelling our next date, and just moving on, i am at that point where i can go forward with her, or step aside and move on quickly. I don't wish to waste my efforts on a girl that clearly has no intent to pursue something with me, and that has no interest in me...that to me is wasting my time and her time, i can let go as easily as that, but if the girl is willing, then i would oblige, and pursue her. You would think by now, you would have a better idea about someone, if there is a connection of some sort, some chemistry, or not.....after the 2nd date, i think she and i have a better idea, and although i am getting mixed signals from her actions, i am starting to lose interest myself in her, by her lack of recipitivity and by how we connection. Is there chemistry between us? i think by the 2nd date you would have some better concept or idea if there was some, and at times i did feel some, but not much. I felt interest at one point to continue pursuing her, and i even asked her out for a 3rd to see if there is a chance, now i am not so sure anymore. I understand if the girl has her schedule and busy life, i respect that, she needs time to herself, her friends, her life, besides she had a life before i came along, BUT, if she cannot make any time for me, despite her busyness, at all, or doesn't return my texts, then that is a sign, i get it, i can accept that too. I'll see how things go this week, and the weeks to follow, if nothing progresses, i may be so inclined to cancel our next date, and just move on, i don't have time to waste and wonder.
     
  5. chibilolli

    chibilolli Kenkyuusei

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2007
    Location:
    Paris
    Don't feel responsible. If you hadn't mentioned it, someone else would have bought it up sooner or later. Maybe me, as I'm attracted to someone who is 7 years younger than me.

    Discussion is good, and on this occasion it got more people posting.
     
  6. albusdumb

    albusdumb Member

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2008
    Location:
    With Oshima Yuko
    The last time I was in love that was very hard. The girl made use of me and me of course I did not suspect nothing. It is said that the love returns blind man. And now I believe it.

    I have difficulties of launching me with the girls. I work in the trade, I have contact with people and it is rather easy. But as soon as that touches the personnel, I block. Why, I do not know. But as from the moment that I am with somebody, I am present for it.

    But my ex doesn't have to understand part of me. Because of my best friend who is a girl. They didn't understand how that was possible; I am very close to it but in spite of appearances it there forever nothing have with them and we knows that there will be never nothing.

    For the moment I am not in love although several girls attract me much.
     
  7. kyu

    kyu Kenkyuusei

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2007
    Location:
    Inside the heart of a lost child...
    you won't know your feelings until one day you feel them yourself. I mean, you said that if it comes to personal relationship, you tend to block yourself. i think maybe it's because the approach, from both of you, is not making you feel safe, secure and comfortable. Once you feel safe, secure and comfortable, you WILL OPEN UP to anyone you feel them with. that's the law of the relationship i know. So i guess it's just a matter of not finding the right girl, yet. and i'm sure you will, someday :)

    qilver bro... i guess it's not working, again. the girl i told you about, suddenly she doesn't reply to my messages anymore. i just dunno why. i didn't feel that i said the wrong things or rude things to her. i tried to message her a few more times in the last few days, but she didn't reply them. not once. not any of it. i'm so confused...what could possibly gone wrong? after she seemed to respond to my feelings... :cry:
     
  8. qilver

    qilver Kenkyuusei

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2007
    Location:
    Reinyan's kitchen
    well, there could be many reasons for shying away, closing up, and putting up personal walls up when getting to close. I dealt with some girls like that. It is in essense their way of protecting themselves from getting hurt again, and some personal trauma or event that really hurt, and it is usually a big heartbreak bad relatioinship that triggered this defensive mechanism. The way people handle that is by backing off, closing up emotionally to avoid getting hurt once again. But here is the key, in order to get close someone new, intimately, romantically, you have to become vulerable, and to become vulerable, you have to risk being hurt and open up, letting down your walls as you begin to trust in them on a deeper level. Finding the right person, is first becoming the right person then you will seek out that person that brings the best in you, as you do for them. I don't know much on chemistry and what makes two people connection on such a deep level, that it just falls into place, i have yet to experience that feeling for myself. But what i do know is that when you do find someone you feel most comfortable with, and in time you will know as it is mutual, and the fear of rejection the fear of someone disappointing you, that fear will dissapate, it will be replaced with good feelings and that will promote a safer environment for you to open your heart feelings, as your love for each other grows. It sounds good doesn't it, and theoretically, i know it well, realistically it is quite different and harder to apply, but as i always say, it takes two to tango, two to make it happen.

    Kyu,
    I think i better PM you cause what i have to say is what i just told my friend in regards to a simlar situation on a girl that he is falling for, but i have a strong feeling she will reject him. Anyways pertaining to your situation, i can try to explain, and analyze this more. but i will say that, as i said above it takes two, and there can be millions of reasons why a person feels the way they do in response to someone else, despite their kind gestures. This is one thing that is more unpredictable, and how they will respond to us if we open up and put ourselves on the line, by confessing our feelings to them. Can they handle it? what may happen as a result of this? why are they acting and reacting this way? did i read between the line and see the subtleties how how she reacted to me everytime we met, did i overlook something? i'll need to think things over here, as i am going thru a very similar situation as you are, in regards to that girl i went out with before. check your PM box laters, i will respond.
     
  9. haruna_hamasaki

    haruna_hamasaki Senbatsu Staff Member Studio48 Admin

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2007
    Location:
    Malaysia
    I felt scared to meet him again. For my group assignment, I was asked by group members to seek for help from him. I can't refused because I'm the only one who usually talks to him. I agreed because it's regarding our assignment. I went to the faculty building and stopped in front of his office. But, I didn't have any strength to knock the door. I felt so scared. REALLY SCARED. Sometimes, I felt like crying but it's not good because there were many people passing by. At last, I went away. I didn't know what to do. I'm scared. I guessed I have to tell my group members that I willingly to find other way to solve our problem about the assignment. Actually, he's the only lecturer in my university who did research about Smart School in Malaysia and our group has to find the lecturer who did that research for some proofs and so on. I thought I was okay but I didn't know why I was so scared...
     
  10. chibilolli

    chibilolli Kenkyuusei

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2007
    Location:
    Paris
    I've given up caring about anything. My job, money, life. I didn't think one person could make me think in such a way. But she has.

    HAHAHA
     
  11. gideon123

    gideon123 Kenkyuusei Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2007
    Location:
    New York, USA
    Oooooooooooohhhhhh...now I got it.

    Sorry about the awkward situation. I'd like to help...but I'm really bad at giving advice (at least on stuff like this). :confused:
     
  12. qilver

    qilver Kenkyuusei

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2007
    Location:
    Reinyan's kitchen
    for someone to have such an impact, whether negatively or positively, it can be stressful. It seems like you have sacrifice just being there and dealing with this type of stress while trying to keep your composure can be a very challenging thing. I think what you went thru, is understandable, and we can only tolerate so much before giving in, before collapsing, but remember we can and will be vulerable, and have to remember that we can get thru this, and perservere through the hardships no matter how other may perceive it. Coming to terms with your emotions is what you are about and how you endure them will be your test of character inner strength. It is a matter of learning what you can endure and what you will tolerate and what drives you as a person. It is obvious that avoiding this person that makes you feel this way is next to impossible. You may not be able to do that, but what you can do is how you react and how you handle a stressful situation, coming to terms on how it makes you feel. Facing up to it is the first step, how you react to it, and accept the circumstances, and just know that you will get thru this, by this and to a better environment in time.
    I always find that posting on here or other various threads, has helped me vent out tremendously, whether good or bad, or inbetween. Please do feel free to post on here, as this thread is about just that, sharing, posting, and saying pretty much what comes to mind, typed out in words. So, have faith and good luck.

    For me: not much to add, other than the dreaded Valentines day is looming, a constant reminder of what is lacking in my life, at my age. Sure sure, i heard it before, don't let it bother you, V-day can be about love, not just romantic love, but you can't help to think what it is all about with all that hype, cupid, roses, kisses, eck!!! perhaps if i didn't feel this sarcastic dark humor, within me, i wouldn't feel this way. To be honest, dating has been stressful, but not to a point where i could not handle emotionally. I feel that i am in control of my emotions, and despite the frustrations in trying to go thru the dating processes of....meeting someone new(thanks to online dating), going out once, twice, ...maybe even a third time to find that things just don't work out because she doesn't have any interest, or if there is no chemistry. Its been just over a year, that i started online dating, and it has been a learning process, i've tried to be patient, and i even took a 7 month break from dating, but it really takes a lot of risk taking putting yourself out there trying to find love, a risk that i will take until i find what i am looking for. I honestly think that this one girl i went out with is not going to work, i just don't sense anything from her, and i have my strong doubts and i even thought of cancelling out on her, and telling her this isn't going to work out. At this point i may just wait until we schedule to meet up at the end of the month, but if she cancels on me, i am moving on cause i don't have time to chase a girl that has no apparent interest in me. A fews months invested, is not much, considering that i truly never fell for her, as i held back some just in case things fell thru...that's why people always say go slow, go cautious, and try to get to know someone, build that trust, etc....communicate, but of course if there is no contact or reciprocation, better off not having any relations and continue the search elsewhere which is what i am thinking of doing.
     
  13. haruna_hamasaki

    haruna_hamasaki Senbatsu Staff Member Studio48 Admin

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2007
    Location:
    Malaysia
    ^ I love how optimistic you are. You never give up until you obtain what you actually want in your life even it takes time.


    ...
    qilver, thanks for the advice. I'm less scared now. But I think for the time being I can't meet him. I can't explain "why" to my group members because they don't know the real situation. I have to come up with another idea so that I can avoid him and at the same time concentrating to my works. Also, I feel quite good now because by watching today's basketball match and cheering to my friends, I can forget what has actually happened yesterday.
     
  14. Ange

    Ange Member

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2007
    Location:
    The Stage48 Institute for Akimoto Sayaka Worship
    Ganbatte, haruna. Somehow, I feel your pain.
     
  15. haruna_hamasaki

    haruna_hamasaki Senbatsu Staff Member Studio48 Admin

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2007
    Location:
    Malaysia
    ^ Thanks. <3 *Hug Ange tightly*
     
  16. kyu

    kyu Kenkyuusei

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2007
    Location:
    Inside the heart of a lost child...
    Thank you qilver. As always, you can see what's inside my mind. And you're so right about it. Thank you for giving me the courage again in this kinda suck situation i'm in. Just by reading your reply, i can feel good again (well...at least i feel better). I will message her some more i guess, but if she doesn't reply...well i guess it's goodbye for her. Not gonna let this situation let me down any longer.
    Good luck with you too, bro. I wish that you will find your true happiness soon.

    @haruna : just wish that you graduate soon from uni, so that you don't have to see him anymore. It seems that that is the only way for you to overcome your fear right now. Ganbatte, girl. :D
     
  17. haruna_hamasaki

    haruna_hamasaki Senbatsu Staff Member Studio48 Admin

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2007
    Location:
    Malaysia
    I graduate next year. Current semester is 6, next semester 7. Then, last semester 8. In sem 8, I won't be in the university anymore because I will attend teaching practical in school for the whole semester as teacher-in-training. So, next semester will be my last to be in university. :D YAY! To make it short, I will be in university for the whole 2008 only.

    ...
    Thanks for the support! <3
     
  18. haruna_hamasaki

    haruna_hamasaki Senbatsu Staff Member Studio48 Admin

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2007
    Location:
    Malaysia
    I MET HIM AGAIN. :(
    My reaction to him was cold I think. He smiled but I didn't reply his smile and turned my face to another side and walked faster.
     
  19. kyu

    kyu Kenkyuusei

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2007
    Location:
    Inside the heart of a lost child...
    ARGH.
    that was a little...harsh, don't you think?
    maybe you didn't mean it to be that way, but he will think that you're rude or anything. i understand your fear of meeting him, but i think when you do meet him, you should brace yourself a bit. maybe bring out a little smile and then run will do :lol:
    but then again, in your situation and the state you're in, you can't be blamed at all to have that kinda reaction toward him ;)
     
  20. haruna_hamasaki

    haruna_hamasaki Senbatsu Staff Member Studio48 Admin

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2007
    Location:
    Malaysia
    ^ Yeah. It was harsh but that's all I could do at that time.
     

Share This Page