1. Check the 2023 Stage48 Member Ranking Results, how did your Oshimen rank this year?

The CONFESSION Thread

Discussion in 'The STAGE48 Lobby' started by yic17, Feb 4, 2012.

  1. stormy

    stormy Kenkyuusei

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2017
    Confession:

    In my present job I've done the work for seven years now... and while it doesn't come close to the earning power of my wife, I don't see anything else that I'd be more fulfilled doing, nor anything I have more talent for (which over the last 20 years before my current gig, I'd had six separate careers, all to find out what the hell I'm here for)...

    But I keep coming back to wrenching. Enjoy it a lot... but when I'm forced to do it, there's nothing I want to do less (an issue I don't have with the Now Gig). So dealing with popup problems on both my mother's former car and her present car (wife can wrench on her own cars), as well as my own can rip the joy out of what wrenching used to be for me when I had my 2500 ft^2 full shop in WA. Kludging things in the hot sun with only hand tools and the logistic nightmare of living on a neighbor island with no huge city of resources... gets really old fast.

    Decided on trying to fix then sell mom's old car (14-yo Acura TL 3.2), so the problems she dismissively ignored her whole time with it, are now my problems. Fair enough. But this is going to need to go into a shop to even get it safe again (all its suspension bushings f-&-r, are destroyed, and the CV axle boots on both sides are torn and long contaminated with road grit, plus one or more engine mounts broke years ago and was ignored)... and that's big money.

    I gave up my sportbikes and racing in order to properly and cleanly pursue this gig now, to leave behind my genuine kismet hobby in the interest of helping people with their pain and disability. It was easier than expected to let go of my bikes... but now that I'm not wrenching regularly, when it does happen it's a lot more of a jolt to adjust to than before. I'm more attuned to the human machine than mechanical machines... yet, wrenching seems to shadow me like a curse. Don't get me wrong... I'm grateful many of the tasks that've been presented to me were accomplished with a minimum of effort thanks to years of wrenching... but while I like getting my hands greasy and feel the satisfaction of a well-oiled, properly-sorted machine... doing it on my terms is contingent for feeling joy from it.

    So my old career seems to want to exact some kind of pennance from my hands, despite my vow to use them on flesh, not Fe. Mom's car goes in the shop next week, and I've been quoted an expectedly large amount, to get this junker roadworthy, *sigh*...
     
  2. ichigo-wota

    ichigo-wota Kenkyuusei

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2016
    -I confess the only reason I made Twitter and Google + was so I can keep up to date with 48/46 members

    -I confess that I daydream everyday about saving money, packing up my life and moving to Japan so I can travel around seeing idols while learning Japanese

    -I confess sometimes I don't even want to go out to see anyone because I just want to be alone with my fandom! (I have no friends who are into idols)

    -I confess I am considering to only focus on HKT from now on

    -I confess I am not really attracted to men anymore, just Japanese girls! :(
     
  3. Astro48

    Astro48 Upcoming Girls

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2015
    Location:
    Tobetsu cho
    Oshimen:
    Marsha
    Twitter:
    polaristune
    I suddenly remember my highschool senior who has my dream because he's both an astronomer & musician.

    My physics teacher during highschool told in my class about an alumni who studied astronomy in ITB, one of most prestigious universities in Indonesia & the only university in Southeast Asia that offers astronomy as a study major.

    When I got home, I browsed him on Facebook & found his account & found that he was not only an astronomy major of ITB but also a member of such university orchestra, he played guitar, I dunno if he also played guitar for any band.

    Yeah, I don't really know about him, he graduated from my highschool 10 years before I did.
     
  4. ABF48

    ABF48 Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2015
    i cant pick between kubo and nanase so yeah.. i emptied my oshimen coloumn as of now.

    i'm so obsessed with kubo lately but at the same time i just cant leave nanase. while nanase is the source of calmness and tranquility for me, kubo give these strange feelings of intrigueness and calamity to me. two side of poles with different vibe, appear to be same but yet contradicting each other.

    but that's not the real problem, here's the real problem..

    Honestly on kubo case, i feel ashamed of myself that some 16yo girl can give such problem like this to me, i never like and never ever in my life have interest on oshi-ing someone younger than me. i always oshi-ing someone who's older or at least same age as me, or at most a year younger than me but beyond that.. its a big no.. and i just cant bring myself to like those girls.

    this also happens in real life, i dont know but for me age is important, i mean.. its not like i have some preference to older girl but rlly.. i never date someone who's younger more than 2 years from me, i dont know.. i find that those who fall in that category is just a kid, i see them as nothing but a kid and i cant bring myself to like them. and this has nothing to do with the way they serve themselves, in some case i might find someone can be more adult than their age, in their way of thinking or acted, but even so.. lets say i grow interest towards them, but when i know that she's 3years younger or beyond, thats when i STOP.. and i cant bring myself to like them anymore.

    i dont know if this a complex or something, but yeah.. this rlly happening to me. so when i find that i have this abnormal obsession towards kubo, i find its quite disturbing, i mean.. i cant deny the fact the she has all the categories that i adore in a girl, no.. i find she's perfect, not only as a girl but also as the creation of god, to my sense she's 10 out of 10 for my ideal, or even beyond that. so when i know that she's nothing but a kid, thats when i had a fight with my own self, i find myself disgusting, i began to think that.. did i slowly breaking my own principle. i know its ridiculous, i know she's just an idol who i never could reach, i know that she's nothing but a picture in the wall that i couldnt do anything but to adore at, but here.. on my own, i have this strange battle on my brain bc i alrdy set some rule on myself, and me with my abnormal obsession towards her is just.. its wrong, for me its rlly wrong.

    thats why even after months i still cant bring myself to fully oshi-ing her. i like her, but also at the same time i lowkey hating her, and i also low-key hating myself for having such this craziness towards 16yo kid for god sake.

    differ from that, i can support nanase, i can fully support her with my whole heart, also with my other oshis too like jurina or risa, or with my kpop bias like seulgi or sooyoung, or if its hollywood then its elle. they're mostly older or at most one year younger than me (risa and elle). and for that, it bring me at peace, and i can go on supporting them without much disturbed.

    This some of my experience that.. i dont know.. maybe one of the reason that triggers me to have a strict principle towards age.

    its story from 5 years ago when i'm still on my freshman year, at that time i still know nothing about akb or etc, at that time my friend introduce me a girl via facebook, the girls is still middle schoolers at that time, long story short, we grew much closer as the time passed by, but still we never meet each other, we live in the same city but never actually meet face to face, but we know each other face alrdy since we alrdy seen each own pic, and to me.. she look just like other normal girl.. to be honest she's cute, like really cute. thats why i grow some interest towards her.

    one day.. here's the highlight of the story, its school days but since my school has some event so the student was permitted to go homes early. and bc of that me and my friend decided to have some hangout in mall, after having some fun time together, we're part on each own upon entering the book store. i was on the novel section alone when suddenly someone calling my name, and i know its a girl. i look up and thats when i saw her.. i some kind of dont recognize this girl at first but not until the reality hit me seconds after that. This girl is the one i've been in contact with for these past weeks!! i might be never meet her before, but that face is too familiar to be not recognized for as there's not much difference between the pic and her real-life face, honestly she's much cuter on flesh.

    i was quite taken aback at that time and my attention is still too much engrossed on her face, but not until she called my name for the second time that day and finally bringing me back to reality, and thats when my gaze goes up and down scanning her, and thats when i realize she still in her school uniform, and as i gain more of my consciousness, i scan her appearance more thoroughly, honestly i kinda shocked as to see that she was so smol, i mean.. i'm average asian guy and my height is around 164-165 at that time.. and she is standing straight just around my neck or even lower than that as i dont rlly remember. she is so small and tiny and slender just like elementary school kid and to add that she is still in her colorful uniform wich is making it look like a perfect portrayal of some kid from prestigious elementary school on my town, bag hanging behind her that is bigger than her body is also not helping at all.

    thats when i realize, her face might be not much different than in the pic or even.. its actually much better than in the pic, but as a whole body picture, its too different than what i imagined. she's cute but cute as it was cute for a kid. like really just a kid, and eventough i'm also still on my teens at that time i just cant process of her look.. for someone who is just 3y younger than me, she's just too much. and that when i suddenly feel guilty and short of blamed myself.. i feel confused and regrets to my own self as i at some point have some short of interest towards her.

    after that i dont rlly remember, we have some little chit-chat but i kind of cut it in the midle and run away from her lol long story short since i dont want to be rude i plan to at least stay as a friend with her but she started to cut the contact with me little by little after that moment :^^;:

    maybe she dont like me, but at the same time she also kinda give me a little traumatic experience about someone younger than me.. that pang of guilt and confused feelings is still clear on my mind till today.
     
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2017
  5. Astro48

    Astro48 Upcoming Girls

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2015
    Location:
    Tobetsu cho
    Oshimen:
    Marsha
    Twitter:
    polaristune
    I just realized that being an astronomer is my ideal job:

    1. I indeed like astronomy, I like gazing at sky.
    2. I often have difficult to sleep at night & I eventually sleep in the morning.
    3. I have aspiration to travel around the world.
    4. I HATE TO WORK IN OFFICE.
    5. I think if I'm working in scientific field, I can keep working even when I'm in my 70s as long as I'm healthy, because I hope I can still make money in my elderly days.

    The only problem is that the last time I learned complex math & physics was when I was in highschool.
     
  6. hjr1891

    hjr1891 Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2013
    Location:
    Anywhere, Everywhere
    Oshimen:
    IxR
    I got news for you......

    Most astronomers. All about dat office life. ;)
     
  7. stormy

    stormy Kenkyuusei

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2017
    I think 'astronomer' is a sort of misnomer -- most of those scientists that become the vocation 'astronomer', are actually astrophysicists... which means the advanced-est-of-advanced-ed maths and physics. And graduate school. And a doctorate/PhD, field research and peer-reviewed publishing at each stage. All of which unfort, require you to sit behind a desk. A lot, in other words.

    If you want a job satisfying your curiosity... attainable with average-ability training... and lots of outdoor work -- get into paleontology. Any of the Sciences will require desk time... but with paleo at least you get to travel to places where you get to unravel mysteries of the past. I've always been fascinated with paleogeography -- the study of what the earth looked like in prehistory, with clues hidden in the rocks and strata of today. Detective work, solving murders, quarrels, affairs, and breakups... but between continents over millions or even billions of years... ;)

    Then again... if solving puzzles is your thing, you can always become an actual detective. But I wouldn't want to do the beat work to accomplish that, so not my path...
     
  8. Astro48

    Astro48 Upcoming Girls

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2015
    Location:
    Tobetsu cho
    Oshimen:
    Marsha
    Twitter:
    polaristune
    I dunno guys, I thought astronomers mostly work in outdoor places. Also aren't they sometime gathering somewhere where there's an astronomical event such as eclipse last Monday, in 2061, Halley comet will be back to earth.

    Observatories & space stations aren't offices. They deserve better term. Even, I'd tell every animator or game designer to call their workplace as studio, not office, also because it deserves better term.

    The reason why I hate to work in office are because in office I may work under boss that maybe a worse dictator than Ferdinand Marcos & it doesn't guarantee financial welfare in retirement. OK, I'll tell you, currently my family is suffering financial difficult, my father formerly worked as an auditor at HQ of a state owned bank. It's one of largest banks in my country but the retirement allowance is tiny. That's why I'm looking for a job that makes me able to work until I die & I make enough money for life.

    Probably, I don't hate to work in office but I just hate to work under boss or company.
     
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2017
  9. stormy

    stormy Kenkyuusei

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2017
    Astronomers, as professionals... are scientists employed by a university. They don't live in the observatory, just go there when they need research.

    Think of an observatory as a toolbox for the astronomer -- any technician with a toolbox (myself in both my vocations -- former powersports technician and present deep-tissue bodyworker) uses tools in the toolbox to collect data... but if he needs to organize the data to train other technicians, he doesn't use the toolbox, but some other means. So in order to become a professional astronomer, you must first become an astrophysicist -- meaning years of education, publishing, and research. All in an office at the university, except when you need to make observations -- at the observatory. :^^;:

    I'm of the same opinion as you -- in my younger days I was a soldier -- that is about the worst employee/boss situation in favor of the boss there is. Afterwards I held various IT and technical career paths -- and hated cube farms, and the personalities that thrive in them. So, when I was let go from a large aerospace company almost 10 yrs ago... I began to train in a field where I ran my own business. My wife is the earner and higher-paid professional, and that's fine -- I make the hours, I choose my clients, and I can change the schedule as needed, total autonomy. That said... all the mistakes are mine as well. ;)

    For me, this works. I'd suggest (based on what little I know about you) that you try the same, if you feel similarly about authority.

    A middle ground is a stormchaser. Meteorology degrees, enormous risk to life and limb... but never boring, you work in small groups constantly driving somewhere... and get to observe and study in the field, the most awesome natural spectacles on earth -- extreme weather. :yikes:
     
  10. Astro48

    Astro48 Upcoming Girls

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2015
    Location:
    Tobetsu cho
    Oshimen:
    Marsha
    Twitter:
    polaristune
    @stormy OK. Thanks for your advice. Actually I'm 23 & have graduated from university. I'm still unemployed. Previously I wanted to pursue scholarship of graduate school in Japan but since I got obsessed to celestial thingies since I watched Star Wars, late 2015 & solar eclipse in Indonesia, early 2016, I suddenly think that I should take undergraduate studies from the beginning again, majored in astronomy. Well, if I think I'd begin pursuing this, the biggest problems are:

    1. I need to learn physics from basic again. I forget it most & the last time I had physics class was 5 years ago.
    2. I'm no longer eligible for the only university in Indonesia that offers astronomy/astrophysics as study major. If I pursue this, I must apply for any university in any other country that offers such major. Such university is also the only university in Southeast Asia that offers astronomy/astrophysics. Closest countries such as Australia, New Zealand, & Japan. If only there's any university in these countries that offer astronomy/astrophysics and anyone can apply no matter how old they are.
    3. My parents can no longer afford it. I'd be dependant to scholarship. I need scholarships that will pay the tuition 100%, provide allowances & airplane tickets. It's not problem for me if I can't return to Indonesia even during eid al fitr. I'd take short semester & part time job during vacation.
     
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2017
  11. Astro48

    Astro48 Upcoming Girls

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2015
    Location:
    Tobetsu cho
    Oshimen:
    Marsha
    Twitter:
    polaristune
    Other confession:

    I never mock Jurina's old look. I look older than my actual age too. When I was 19, a strange middle aged woman called me sir, I was mad to her. Few hours ago, some dude who's likely 27 years old, called me sir, I'm 23.
     
  12. Nieru

    Nieru Kenkyuusei

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2015
    I don't see a problem.. maybe they're just being polite. Especially in situations when you're a customer, you'd get called sir a lot.
     
  13. marioworldakb

    marioworldakb Under Girls Stage48 Donor

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2017
    Location:
    Hinachan's Cell House
    Oshimen:
    Iwata "Sukinaso" Hina
    Twitter:
    marioworld929
    umm what do you want them to refer you as?

    I remember last week when I was walking in the mall, I heard a cleaning staff who was sweeping the floor asked a 10 year old kid "Sir, would you mind move over a bit?"

    lol
     
  14. Astro48

    Astro48 Upcoming Girls

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2015
    Location:
    Tobetsu cho
    Oshimen:
    Marsha
    Twitter:
    polaristune
    Because they think I was older than them.
     
  15. stormy

    stormy Kenkyuusei

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2017
    ^ I wouldn't dwell on such small things... after all, people are being tortured and killed for being who they are in several countries.

    An honest mistake like that bothering you so much, says more about you than it does about them. ;)
     
  16. Astro48

    Astro48 Upcoming Girls

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2015
    Location:
    Tobetsu cho
    Oshimen:
    Marsha
    Twitter:
    polaristune
    If you listen to post-rock, it's one of musical genres loved by hipsters because it's one of non-mainstream musical genres.

    But, probably the most successful Indonesian band is now playing post-rock. Maybe no, they just strongly use delay & reverb.

    It's actually most favorite musical genre of me, would like to learn to play this genre but it may cost at least $2000 for the equipment. :(
     
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2017
  17. Humbucker

    Humbucker Next Girls

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2014
    Location:
    Fortune Cookie Palace
    Oshimen:
    Sashihara Rino
    I confess I'd rather spend these $2000 with instruments than with idol stuffs. (You all can kill me now.) :XD:
     
  18. Astro48

    Astro48 Upcoming Girls

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2015
    Location:
    Tobetsu cho
    Oshimen:
    Marsha
    Twitter:
    polaristune
    I'm muslim & was born to a muslim family but I dislike women who wear hijab or even worse, burqa because I think they can't set themselves free.
     
  19. Humbucker

    Humbucker Next Girls

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2014
    Location:
    Fortune Cookie Palace
    Oshimen:
    Sashihara Rino
    Tomorrow is holiday, I've just got home drunk and I love y'all guys. Long life for the idols!!!
    I hope I don't get ashamed of this comment tomorrow. :p
     
  20. hermionepj1

    hermionepj1 Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2016
    Oshimen:
    Yamashita Emiri
    you should be ashamed of yourself!!!
     

Share This Page