Heres my problem. I'm in love with my best friend. And there's nothing I can do about it. I'm just trapped with my thoughts and it's killing me.
Got it, casual and simple, and not over think it. So just like hanging out with your friends type of thing? And here's a photo of her, she's the girl on the left. https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hp ... n.jpg?dl=1 You see, after seeing a picture of her you get where I'm coming from. (hopefully) Oh well, screw it. In 10 years, I'm probably going to be laughing about this nonsense and how I was blinded by love.
YES, EXACTLY. No pressure .. just hang out and have fun like a friend except .. a little more than *just* a friend. Hmm .. if you are genuinely attracted to her .. I think things will fall into place naturally. You know what you have to do when the time is right ..... (or maybe I should take it to PM? ) Nope. She's cute, okay. But she's nothing out of reach. Just follow all the advices we've been giving you ... same plan ... same attitude ... and whatever happens, just have fun.
is it really so complicated? "hey there's this restaurant i wanna check out, wanna go out to eat? just us two." (or whatever you want to do. i asked a girl to get cologne with me because i wanted cologne one time. it's really not that hard, especially if you're already acquainted with each other.) it's all this TV that makes you think you need dramatic date asking skills where you throw a rock at her window at midnight and you sing usher love songs in the rain with roses in your hands. [makeup] i don't even know why you're waiting for a specific day. just do it now if you really want it. maybe it's just me but i don't think you can ever really like someone before you go out with them. i think you go out with them in order to find something to like about them. when i thought about all the times i was rejected, it hurt because i had created expectations in my head that weren't met. therefore, it's better to get it out of the way fast. if you don't spend time dawdling about it, you get over it quickly. and if you aren't rejected, you'll always think "I should've done this sooner!" speaking of which, stop thinking about it. you're not in love with your best friend. you're in love with the creation and image of him or her in your head. and you keep thinking about that ideal image instead of the reality, and you get frustrated because your thoughts aren't what's really out there. make sure you're taking care of yourself too. the funny thing about being attractive to others is that you need to show them that you're capable of living and succeeding without them.
Funny you should mention just being in love with idea of her. It's crossed my mind more than once since I realised I liked her, but then I see her again and forget. Really all I need is a way to stop thinking about her like this, I've taken to big a gamble on our friendship a couple of weeks ago on accident, and that nearly destroyed our friendship. I can't let the fact I have feelings for her ruin it again.
@tom Don't overthink on how to make the date better or anything if you do, you and the girl you like probably wont have as much fun. No romantic style unless that's what your crush likes. Maybe if she's the fun and loud type you'll probably be better going to theme parks and all. Just keep it simple and make it fun! You got it She looks pretty
I swear this'll be my last post until I actually ask her. I thought I should update you a little... So today, I talked to my good friend (who also likes her) face to face, and told him about my plans. His reply... "Dude, go for it man. You've liked her for so long it's about time" Wow, It really does pay off to have close friends. Today has actually been such an awesome day, even if I don't get her i'll still be happy knowing that my friends were supportive of my idea. Any who, the reason why I can't just "ask her" whenever, is because I'm only in two of her classes and often she walks out with her friends, and so really the only option I have is to ask her after school. I read somewhere that it's not good to create a scene, so I thought I shouldn't really rip her away from her friends and ask her then, as it'll just make her feel awkward. She's the loud and fun type, but she doesn't really like theme parks. So, I just decided to take her to the movies and get some ice cream after (She loves vanilla ice cream). I was thinking of saying something along the lines of "Hey, I wanted to watch (movie title) next weekend, I was wondering if you'd want to watch it with me and maybe get some ice cream after?" It's just I'm worried she might misinterperate it and think that we're going as just friends. What's a way to give a clear implication that it's more of a "date" type of thing? Do you mean bestfriend in general? or "girl" best friend? Because the relationship advice i've been getting above was for me asking my "girl" best friend out. Although I'm probably not a good person to get advice regarding this sort of stuff from, why don't you just try asking her out? That's what I'm doing, and I figured... If I get rejected, I can finally get over her without having regrets, and knowing that I actually tried (if she says yes, then who knows). But then again, pride can be a pain in the ass sometimes right?
^ ^ dont tell her your whole plan... Just tell her about the movie,, then after that, do what you want to do, go to the mall, eat ice cream and chat a little etc.. but you need to hear her answer first if YES or NO,, i have a spoiler here, its just my opinion on what will be her answer,i always follow what you share on this thread, im also hoping for the best, thats the "YES",, Open this spoiler after she answers you or after the date..no peeking please [angel] [angel] Spoiler YES 40% - NO 60% dont take my opinion seriously,
Well yeah she's a girl but she is also my best friend, the personI speak to the most, and knows more about me than most. I'm not going to ask her out, one I promised myself before I realised I had feelings for her that if I did get feelings for her again I wouldn't tell her, and also she has a boyfriend. Not to mention I don't want to risk losing her as a friend again.
@tomokazu: then just grab her after class and say, "yo, can i talk to you for a minute?" you can even text her. again, you're just gonna go on an outing with her. nothing special. special is what happens on the date, not before, and certainly not while asking. i'd shy against a movie, because it's really passive unless it's a chick flick and you're already romantically involved, or unless you're both noisy and you like commenting during the movie. ice cream sounds cool. just stick with that. if you want to extend the date then have some other locations in mind that you could potentially bounce to. just make it clear that you just want it to be just you two only.
Hi, I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right place or not, but I think this could be considered a life problem.. Anyway, I have major body issues. I am 20 years old, 5'6, and around 101 lbs. Everytime I see AKb48 girls, I feel... fat. :/ I know people who are skinny who think they're fat are terribly annoying, but it's just a problem I have, and I want opinions from people who love AKB48, because I always compare myself to the girls, especially Mayuyu >.< Well, I used to be 112 lbs, then I ate less on purpose and went down to 107, then to 105 months later, and thennnn, from Jan-late April or so, I did a diet which actually was pretty healthy (I ate lots of veggies, skipped snacks and sodas..), and went down to 97 lbs. Then I got a little scared and people kept telling me I looked bad, and I thought I looked great! But... people always said I am too skinny, and I thought...ok, to make my mom and boyfriend happy and not worry so much, I'll put on a few lbs... and here I am today at 101 and I don't like it. I have a gut, lol. Mayuyu's stomach is so flat, I'm so jealous. And so many guys here just love her, so I feel like...I should have a body like her....I consider her perfect... perfect height, weight, hair, face..everything. And so many people love her! She's my idol... in the sense that I look up to her . So um, yea, sorry I'm new to posting on the forums so I hope this was okay, I have been a memeber for awhile, I just lurked the Mayuyu gallery thread and occasionally the news section. What do you guys, being AKB48 (who have very thin bodies) lovers, think about my weight at my height? Is it.. ok? I mean if I was in AKb48 (lol) would I be considered a little heavy? This guy I know who has been to Japan many times, said in Japan I would be considered "well-fed" O_O And he said all the girls look sick because they are so thin? But I don't think so, but that's his opinion I guess... Am I...thin like Mayuyu? Lol I feel like a weirdo for asking that. I know she's a lot shorter than me, which plays a part too.. my waist measurements are around 57cm, and supposedly hers is 55cm.. so uh.. What do you guys think.. American guys are always saying they love curves, and don't like skinny girls, but so many guys think AKB48 girls are hot and a lot of them i don't consider curvy o.o Ty for reading it if you did lol , i know it's tl;dr XD hope i don't sound too crazy .__. Typical girl body obsession issues, I guess.. I do have mental OCD though.. so I will obsessive think about things, like this..
@wasshoi2011 Hello Your weight should weigh a little more, if you want a healthy body. I believe that comparing yourself to people isn't good, because the only person you should be comparing yourself to is the person you were yesterday . Be proud of who you are! Don't let peer pressure kill you, don't let what people define you! Spoiler Don't forgot its hard to turn into someone perfect like Mayu. [aup] You'll have to be computer generated I hope you choose a happy lifestyle and live happily!
@wasshoi2011 Hmm .. I think 101 pounds is HARDLY heavy. But my advice for you will be ... whatever makes YOU happy. If you think you look GREAT when you're 97 pounds ... then I think that's the weight for you. As long as you eat healthy that is - because having a lean body doesn't mean you're healthy - and vice versa. Looks is highly subjective ... if you look in the mirror and it bothers you everyday, then why suffer like this just because everyone else thinks different than you? So I'd say you should just get the weight that makes you feel great whenever you look into the mirror. And personally, I love girls who are thin and lean in AKB ... Jurina, Mayuyu, Yukirin, Rena ... for me, they have the best bodies. So again, difference in taste. Just because people around you think you look too thin @ 97... doesn't mean you won't find people who like it the way you do. ^_^ Good one!
Your points are strange, you are being too obsessive over something that is so insignificant. For the record, you're not overweight at all, and even if you were, who cares? you have a boyfriend who already clearly accepts you for who you are, which is why you're dating. So i do not understand why you would care about what AKB male fans define as good. I'm just going to keep this short. Everyones' opinion on beauty is different. You don't sound crazy but you just need to relax. I hope your body is in good health
i totally lost my control this week.. [sweat] everyday i emmited energy more than my limit without doing anything and it makes my body hurt very well..especially when someone makes me angry..is it bcz of stress?..i feels like everyone leaving me bcz of this..and now i totally a weak person who can't do anything good..
@wasshoi ... you're only 45kg... hardly heavy at all. That's a fairly common body weight for Japanese women much shorter than your 168cm height. You probably weigh less than the majority of the girls in AKB (and you're taller than almost all of them). But, again, with numbers, we can't really tell if your weight is healthy, or not... Photos or actual measurements would be more helpful. But, just from those numbers alone, most medical professionals would tell you to gain weight. Pardon my language, but that person that told you that you would be considered "well-fed" is full of horse shit. Again, with that height and weight, you're probably smaller than the average Japanese person. Unless he was only hanging out with magazine models, then you may be considered not as thin as them (think of Mitsumune Kaoru before she put on 22lbs as an AKB member). But, if your tummy is a concern, perhaps you could engage in rigorous cardiovascular workouts for 20-60 minutes a day, maybe 5 times a week. Wear a heart rate monitor to make sure that you're training in your peak cardio range... If you go that route, you need to make sure that you're eating and resting properly. ------- @poisonedbymayu... Not quite sure if you mean you worked out too hard and your body is completely sore or if you're mentally drained and it's taking a toll on your body. If you worked out too hard, I'd say lighten your exercise load, and do some extended stretching session (mixing static and ballistic stretching). Maybe visit a sauna to decompress and soak in a hot tub for 15-20 minutes. On top of that, eat clean for a week to detox your body. If it's mental stress, and it's wreaking havoc on your body, it's probably time to visit a doctor. Check yourself before it develops into something worse. Along with that, you probably need to get more good sleep... if you're constantly waking up throughout the night or people tell you that you snore, then you may have sleep apnea. The disease will keep you from having "good sleep"... that also may be something you want to talk to your doctor about. Don't be negative and think that everyone is leaving you. A negative attitude may drive people away, so try not to fret too much.
My problem is I used to be best friends with this one girl and we hung out together almost every other day of the week ever since the beginning of the school year untill about February and then suddenly she just started ignoring my text messages and also all my friends our general group. When I text her to hang out she just ignore me and the next day at school she act as if we're still best friends and even one day I asked her to go out and she ignored me and my other friends we seen her with other people. So as the months moved on I started to ignore her and not even talk or acknowledge her when she walked by and that's how it stayed through pretty much the rest of the year. I thought maybe we should talk about what happend so I texted her and they she just acted like she didn't know me and we had this whole argument through text for hours and at the end she acted like that she finally realized it was me but I knew she knew who I was along. The next day she confronted my best friend and asked her why I was being pissy with her and explained she didn't have time for us because she has work. Me and my friend know that she didn't get a job until may and she stopped talking to us in February. I don't know why this bothers me so much, I'd think about this situation and sometimes I think it bothers me so much because I might kinda like her. Thinking back on our friendship I noticed there was those moments when i didn't want my Other friends around us so we'd be alone and it be just us two hanging out. I remember the last time we hung out is when I asked her to rehearse this play with me because I wanted to learn my lines and it was my first time with a leading role and when I was asking her to do this with me, my other friend jumped in and said the three of us can do it at her house . I remember being so angry about it thinking that I only wanted it to be the two of us and I never really knew why I did until thinking back on it. Are these feelings worth trying to speak to her again? We all just graduated high school and I probably when see or talk to her again unless I called or msged her. She did show up unannounced to my best friends party and started acting friendly with her even though she ignored her for months too and apparently she's back together with her old boyfriend which she told me was the worst person she met because he was a jerk and using her so I have no idea why there back together and nobody else knows either. Should I do anything or should I just forget about this whole thing ? I want to forget about this but some how it keeps popping in my head even though I don't want it to
I know how it feels to have this best friend that you just want to be alone together sometimes. She was your best friend and I'm sure you really want to clear things up, right!? I think you should talk to her
Hi I'm new to this forum and I discovered this thread. I've come across this big issue. Next year I'm going to a public school for 'bright' (?) students so I will be focusing on my studies for 3 years leading to University (this school gives instant access to this University and if you want to go the Medical pathway it cuts down a year of courses) and for approximately 6 years I've been playing an instrument and I had private tuition ever since and lately I had confessed to my private tutor that I would be quitting my instrument. I practiced this instrument everyday for about an hour when I got home and wasted extravagant amount of money for learning (private tuition ranges 40-60$ weekly) this instrument. I've wasted 5 yrs of my time and my time of my guardians and I really don't know if quitting was the best idea. Next year I wont have time to practice and my parents vex that I might be stressed out with everything. They also ask me if quitting was the best decision and if I want to change teachers and get have an examination so that it proves my efforts on it but I know that I'm not the best player and I have a lot of posture problems and my fingers have been tense forever and I know I can't pass (my current teacher who has taught me for years is unaware of the examination he believes in going to a musical university but I'm not planning to go that far with music). But when I talked to my teacher about it I felt like part of me was gone and I felt like crying when I faced my teacher. Just looking at my instrument makes me teary and imagining my instrument 3 years time being all dusty upsets me. I find it funny that when my mom always shouted at me to start practicing I found it annoying and disobeyed often but now that I don't have to play, it makes me feel sad and I want to play it and cherish it. So please, help me with my feelings. For years I had been thinking of quitting, sometimes I was pestered on quitting everyday for a month but now that I actually have quit I don't know what to do, I know that if I continue I probably will quit after 3 months of starting school (acquaintances who go to the school had been playing instruments and dancing since they were 5 had all quit due to the excessive load of work)
