Discussion in 'The STAGE48 Lobby' started by MecchaMelon, Apr 4, 2011.
Oh heeyyy there sexy
First time I saw Sae she made me ? my sexuality then I saw her in Majiska I thought mabe I im more into girls then boys and its all thanks to Sae
Sae isn't too girly in MG
Maybe I like tom boys instead of girly girls?
^That would be alright!It would only mean that you have preference!
Interesting poll, lol. It seems the sexuality of girls here is more diverse than the boys.
Not sure. I've never been in a relationship before because no one has ever really caught my interest. So maybe I'm asexual? But I like the idea of a relationship and I find some guys attractive, but not necessarily sexually... maybe I'm romantically attracted to guys?
I don't know and I don't really care, to be honest.
I was joking with that, anyway there is not problem with girly or boyish girls
Though I want Sae That wont happen oh well
I'm an exclusively heterosexual male!
Exclusively homosexual male.
It's funny when I show idol groups to people who don't know my sexuality Especially for people who have those stereotypes about idol fans (Particularly AKB48 Group). And I usually like mature/sexy songs, which doesn't help haha
- AKB48 is made for lonely old pervert men11!!!
- I'm not old, I'm 18, actually
- But you are still a sad creep!!11
- My social life it's pretty nice, thank you
- But you are still into them, aren't you, you pervert??!!
- I'm gay
- Oh.........yeah, sorry
Edit: v @risou And handsome men too
Yea I noticed that. Some people assume that just because the guy is gay, he has 0 interest looking at pretty women. Pretty women are objectively pleasant to look at regardless of sexual preferences.
I don't know if anyone has had other experiences, but as a lesbian fan, it feels like people are grossed out by me a lot. I never talk about the girls in a sexual manner, but the majority of the straight female fans I know are constantly saying things along the lines of "I'm an AKB fan, but don't worry, I'm not a weird lesbian!". I don't want to be looked at as a dirty secret or someone who gives the fandom a bad name just because of my orientation. I'm very feminine (I'm a gyaru so I'm pretty much the epitome of girly haha), so people assume I'm a straight female fan at first, but then when they realize I'm gay, it feels like they're embarrassed that I'm a fan. I guess it can't be helped, but I'll continue to cheer on my favourite idols even if others don't want me to!
^Well,I never had a bad experience but then again I never really met other straight girls outside of here (I don't even think that I talked to one directly in private) and the few times I stated that I was a lesbian in different treads,I never had any comments on it!I just assumed most people just don't really cared!
I don't know what I could tell you!You're maybe just in the wrong circle?Those girls are just really stupid!
Also don't be afraid to give the fandom a bad name because people have to keep in mind that we're everywhere!If anything,it kinda makes me happy to know that you're more girly since that's mean we're more diverse!I consider myself more masculine (not super butch though,I think) but I also know another lesbian that she's more in the feminine side and a "pan" that is feminine too!
I'm curious. Since you identify yourself with the gyaru movement, I presume you are living in Japan and is East Asian.
This negative reactions against lesbian AKB fans, is this from the internet or based on personal experiences? If so, are you talking about an outspoken minority, or do you feel that the majority holds on to this prejudice?
The reason I ask is because I would be surprised if Japanese AKB female fans reacted this way.
It's good to know that you've never had any bad experiences! Hopefully I'm just in a bad circle of fans right now. Now that I'm here at Stage48, though, I haven't seen any of the snide comments that get made in my current group. This could be the start of something I'll love! Too bad most of the nice female wota I know don't speak English, or I'd direct them here.
Ahaha, I didn't know people would guess that so fast! You're right, though. This is gonna be quite the read, so sorry! I just really wanted to explain things well.
These are just my own personal experiences, so this definitely isn't the end-all behavior from every female Japanese wota (there are a few I know who aren't like this at all, and online there's been very kind and non-judgmental girls), but I've seen it a lot in my little online circle of about 50, and IRL circle of 13 plus myself. They're never homophobic in the way in gets defined in the west (the sort of "gay people don't deserve rights" way, as homosexuality has never really been condemned in the same way here), but are kind of... Not great about it. They have lots of misconceptions. Sometimes I wonder if they even know they're doing it. Many that I know are defensive of their heterosexuality when they talk about girls. Think along the lines of "I'm not a lesbian or anything weird like that, but I would kiss Paruru!". Saying you're straight is one thing; calling gay girls weird or referring to liking other girls as abnormal is very troubling. I've heard a lot of general pokes at the idols when they show affection to each other ("Haha, so and so is suuuuuch a lesbian!") that aren't really cruel, but are obviously meant to make fun of the girl- in a lighthearted way, mind you, but it's hurtful for me to hear.
When I came out in both groups, things got kind of awkward. Online, my friend circle tries to be funny. I remember one incident where I talked about wanting to pinch Biitan's cheeks, and there was promptly a reply of "Oh, but Tomoyo, you're a lesbian, right? Knowing how much of perverted girl you are, I bet you want to pinch more than just her cheeks!" which prompted a lot of laughter and jokes. I didn't want to say anything and get called oversensitive, but it really hurt. I'd never said anything sexual about a member before, but to that group, 'lesbian' meant 'perverted and sexual'. And come on, who doesn't want to pinch Biitan's cheeks? Just look at her, she's adorable!
In real life, my group was always really huggy and touchy feely with each other. This is mostly just a Japanese thing haha. When I came out, though, they just kind of... Stopped. Nobody would give me a hug anymore, nobody would hold my hand. I never thought of any of these girls romantically, but as soon as I came out, I was suddenly not the same anymore. We all live close and do a lot together, but I just stopped going to places like pools with them anymore because I can only take so many 'jokes' about how "We'd better be careful, or Tomoyo will grope us, heehee!". Don't get me started on the 'jokes' that have been made when certain idols released gravure shoots . On another note, male wotas can be guilty of similar problems. Comments on how all female wota must be lesbians definitely contributes to how female wota, in turn, have to be loud about how they're straight. I sometimes feel unwanted because my mere presence means I'm reinforcing a stereotype, and sometimes I can tell people don't want me to be open about it so they won't be thought of as lesbians.
Whoops, I accidentally wrote an essay I knew it would be long, but not this long! Again, please don't take this as representative of all female wota. This is the opinion of one girl with only one sample group. I know so many Japanese female wota who are absolute sweethearts who have been nothing but willing to learn and accept others. But from my own experiences- yes, it's not always a comfortable environment. Not outright homophobic, but uncomfortable indeed. I hope this answered your questions, and I'm so sorry for making you read all this!
Thank you for your detailed explanations. It was very insightful.
It was definitely not too long for me. I wouldn't have minded even if it was 10 or 20 times longer because it is well written and organized. I also enjoy reading essays
That is truly unfortunate to hear.
I read studies showing that even in people who firmly believe in the equality of homo/heterosexuals, they still display some level of implicit bias towards homosexuals. (I too fall under this when I reflect back on my behaviors)
When I think back, with gay guys, I always keep an extra distance from them due to the fear of them falling in love with me. (I do not do this with girls that I don't feel attracted to + lesbians)
From this, I'm guessing some unconscious part of me is a bit discomforted by the presence of gay homosexuals. (as embarrassing it is to admit to this)
I'm guessing some people may use humor to alleviate this personal discomfort.
If the source of discomfort is the fear of unknown, it should have gradually subsided over time. Yet, based on what you wrote, the rate that these harmful "jokes" are being said seems constant. Am I mistaken?
Also, do you get these "jokes" from male AKB fans that you personally know too? I'm guessing probably much less if my theory is somewhat correct.
Lastly, I want to ask why you are concerned about reinforcing the notion that female AKB fans = lesbians.
Is it because you don't want to be seen as a stereotypical figure? which in extension would take away your individuality by being misattributed to labels like pervert, etc
or is it because you don't want to damage the fan group's reputations/cause trouble for other female fans?
Based on what you wrote, feels like you have taken statistics or at least, familiar with it. If so, fear not , I will not take M as μ when n = 1; σ = ?
^ You're welcome! And I'm glad it wasn't too long, I do tend to ramble haha
Yeah, I feel like lots of people are biased, even it's subconsciously. A lot of people, even if they're very tolerant and loving, have been told by the world that gay people are dangerous/wrong, and internalize those thoughts. It's really good when people recognize these behaviors, though! That shows a really high level of compassion and intelligence when someone can check their own behavior, at least in my opinion And this really hits the nail on the head when talking about my experiences with some female Japanese wota. Not biased openly, and sometimes don't realize their bias.
Yeah, jokes like these are fairly constant Many people think they're harmless, but they hurt my feelings a lot. I used to think that it was just them being unsure how to act around a gay person, but I don't think that discomfort has ever really gone away. I'm now really considering leaving my online group, just because I never know which post of mine will be fine, and which one will direct these 'jokes' towards me. It's anxiety inducing, and now that I've joined Stage48, it's sort of prompting the realization that what's said in that group isn't something I have to put up with, and that I have other options when it comes to speaking with other wota! Male wota do it too, possibly just as much as female wota, but I hang out with more girls, so perhaps I've just seen it less. The person who made the comment about Biitan was male, for example. Wota or not, boys seem to poke fun a lot, which is usually fine, but not on a sensitive issue like my orientation.
Well, nobody wants to be a stereotype, right? And you're pretty much right with that theory there. I sort of feel like people who hate 48 groups and idols in general go at the fans, calling male wota old lonely weirdos and female wota as either only in it to impress boys, or as lesbians (maybe it's different in other countries, but these are just from common Japanese stereotypes about wota). Wota fight to make people realize that we're such a huge variety of people who just happen to love idols, but then I come along and antis can use me to say "Oh, but look at this girl! She's a lesbian and wota! So you guys really are all like this!". It feels like people, perhaps subconsciously, want me to play straight to not give the antis any more ammo to use against us. I hate being used by antis, too. Sometimes in places where nobody knows me, I'll lie and say I'm straight when that stereotype gets brought up.
Oh my god, I just did it again I'm glad you at least don't mind reading my wordy posts I've never taken statistics, actually! I'm kind of a dummy when it comes to things like that haha. Anyways, I hope this made sense, and once again, just keep in mind that I'm just one girl, and other gay Japanese wota may have had different experiences.
I'm just gonna that sadly it's not just wota thing,it's a general thing that comes with the lgtb community!There's people everywhere that gonna makes "jokes",be uncomfortable or might not want to be associate with you!But at least it's not as bad as it use to be in certain places!